As a parent you want to do everything you can for your kids. Today’s society the focus on how we raise our children have, in my opinion, created a facade of true reality for the next generation. Primarily as a society we are doing everything possible to block any level of negativity from children. Emotional shielding, over protective physically, being so risk averse children don’t understand that the real world will not be handing them anything they want in the future and there will be time when they will be times when they are told ‘No’ and to take a hike.
After my daughter was born, my second child, I have been getting more involved with parenting groups, specifically those that are father centric. In this change over the decades, the father’s role as the center point of wisdom, authority and direction. There are fewer and fewer families where Atticus Finch lives. Looking back at the most iconic representation of a father figure and his approach, you will see quickly that his parenting would be considered cruel by today’s standards.
I came across an article in Forbes about Tim Elmore, a leadership expert and his thoughts around parenting today when it comes to what kinds of children we are raising. This article gives very good insights to how today’s parents need to take a step back and see there are long-term consequences. He called out 7 crippling parenting behaviors that keep children from growing into leaders of their own lives and world enterprises.
- We don’t let our children experience risk.
- We rescue too quickly.
- We rave too easily.
- We let guilt get in the way of leading well.
- We don’t share our past mistakes.
- We mistake intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity.
- We don’t practice what we preach.
This full article can be seen here which goes into more detail on each of those behaviors. Tim goes on to explain that parents cannot ignore their past and gives a few tips on how to start changing these behaviors.
- Talk over the issues you wish you would’ve known about adulthood.
- Allow them to attempt things that stretch them and even let them fail.
- Discuss future consequences if they fail to master certain disciplines.
- Aid them in matching their strengths to real-world problems.
- Furnish projects that require patience, so they learn to delay gratification.
- Teach them that life is about choices and trade-offs; they can’t do everything.
- Initiate (or simulate) adult tasks like paying bills or making business deals.
- Introduce them to potential mentors from your network.
- Help them envision a fulfilling future, and then discuss the steps to get there.
- Celebrate progress they make toward autonomy and responsibility.
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Binary Blogger has spent 20 years in the Information Security space currently providing security solutions and evangelism to clients. From early web application programming, system administration, senior management to enterprise consulting I provide practical security analysis and solutions to help companies and individuals figure out HOW to be secure every day.